The Good Dancer: A Dating Story

-
I once dated a really good dancer.

That wasn't his only strength.

In truth, he was one of thee absolute best dudes I ever made out with.  He was super funny, smart and we clicked right away.

But what struck me as odd was that, for the first time before and since, his good dancing skills didn't turn me off.  (For some reason, a man with too much swagger on the floor has always confused and frightened me a little.)  Oh, and I also don't like when they are so involved in their dancing that they forget you are on the floor with them.  Oh, and when they A. crowd you or B. use you as a prop.  Oh, and when they sing along to songs by female artists.  If you know all the lyrics to "I'm a Slave for You", that's both impressive and embarrassing.

(I really did have strange deal-breakers with men...)

So here was the first guy who I enjoyed dancing with that was actually a really good dancer.  He didn't crowd.  He didn't sweat profusely.  He didn't sing along to every Madonna song that blared.  He didn't contort his body into Jenga-like configurations or mechanically move his jaw with the palm of his hand.  There was no pretense..... no "look at me" factor which I loathe.  He didn't forget that we were dancing in that club together.

To the good dancer I am thankful for his ability to ease my mis-conception that all men who are "exceptional" dancers (at clubs) are probably self-involved douche-wads.  (Just, like, a whole lot of them).  There is, in fact, an exception to every rule.


He was a really cool dude.

The good dancer and I dated for a while.  It's hard to say how long, because in truth we were so much better as friends than anything else.  We were far too compatible and similar for any mystery or future together.

** But just a friendly 'FYI' to those dudes that use the floor as their own personal studio (we all know or see at least one in every club outting), keep this in mind while you writhe away and fashion your arms into Vogue-like poses: 

1.  There isn't a talent agent in the crowd watching you. 
2.  This isn't a segment of "Making of the Video".... 
3.  ... Nor is this an audition for "So You Think You Can Dance". 
4.  If you've ever inadvertently socked someone in the face while dancing, you are over-doing it
5.  You really should ask permission before grinding on a girl. 
6. What girl?  If you can't get a girl to dance with you it's probably because you look like Kung-Fu Panda out there, buddy.  You shouldn't have more moves than a 1984 U-Haul vehicle.  Scale it back a little, mon frere and you're golden.







Comments

Rachel said…
Loved this blog...had me crackin up! :0)
May 6, 2011 at 4:07 PM
Jamie said…
If you ahppen to find another one of these.... single, of course, send him my way!
May 6, 2011 at 9:09 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Dear Bobby"

-
Image
"Dear Bobby, I love you. I always look forward to when my husband leaves for work, and you sneak into bed with me. Sometimes, you will wake me up, but usually, you just lie there next to me waiting for my eyes to open." Bobby. You are a cat. But you are the cat of all cats. Unliked some others whose names I will not mention.... you like being a cat. You are my original Obi Kenobi... But you don't like your name and insist I call you "Bobby" or "Bob". You are my predator. You can catch anything- including a rabbit almost twice your size. I remember the time you brought a baby possum into our home. I had just awakened and sleepily headed to use the bathroom when, peering from inside the toilet, was a little possum begging to be released. You cheeky bastard, Bobby. That poor possum. I scolded you and you just turned the other whisker, as if to say "look lady... I am a cat, that's how I do...." The other cats beg for forgiveness when
Read More

Degree

-
Image
It was on Friday night. We laughed a lot, perhaps made delirious by the sweet smell of men that were familiar-yet-elusive and desirable. It could have been the wine,  it could have been the great company of old friends and conversations and shared opinions with other women. I disagreed with Ariel more than once, though... "Too sweet" or.... "smells like a jelly bean...." The ones I couldn't put down were the ones that smelled like a man's deodorant, hidden among 75+ samples that scattered in baskets around the coffee table. There we sat around a table full of scents as we sampled the fragrances from a friend's Scentsy collection, eager to fill out our order forms for the smells that would soon promise to envelop our homes. I opted for the "Iced Pine" option, which always reminds me of the home I have not yet lived in and lingered around the fragrances that smelled of citrus and orange peels.  The idea of the smell of "Orange
Read More