Deuces

Taylor looked up earnestly. She stared at the baby in my arms, desperate for a chance to hold her. Although 10 year old Taylor had just met little Sayler, she was in love. She grabbed Sayler's chubby arm as it draped over my own and kissed it, followed by a stroke to her cheek. In a most adult-like tone she asked me, "Are you breadfeeding?" I smiled. "Yes", I replied. I knew what she meant. She went on, in a most-certain way about how she was 'breadfed' but her little sister, Hannah, was not, because the 'breadmilk' made her sick, but that breadmilk is best for the baby. It made me smile again. At only 10 years, Taylor spoke like an adult.  At one point in the evening she even brought me a cocktail and said "don't worry, it's not dirty..." to indicate it was alcohol-free. (We wouldn't want to taint the breadmilk, after all) I wondered when and how she became so precocious.  Much later in the eveni...

I have lots of memories. Some of them are to share with the world, and some are just for me. I have lots of friends, Some are mothers, and some are not, But they are all caring, nurturing and loving alike. I have lots of ex-boyfriends and crushes, Some have been duds, but most have been extraordinary human beings. I have lots of family members. Some are loud, (Who am I kidding?) They're ALL loud ;0) I have lots of ways to say "I'm Sorry", But saying "I'm Sorry" isn't usually one of them. I am stubborn. I am impatient. I laugh loud, I cry soft, Sometimes within the same day. I am trying to be a better version of myself...

My favorite feeling in the world is that moment when my daughter turns her tiny head to the side and rests it on my shoulder. She doesn't do it often.... Because even if she is tired, She wants to be facing forward, looking at the world, at the people, at the T.V. at the cats, and the dog. You will know she is dozing off when her head starts to droop, and her eyes start to close. But in the moment you try to turn her around to rest on your shoulder, she will yell "I'm not tired!" And you will have to turn her back around.... to fall asleep looking at the world, drooping toward the people, and the T.V. and the cats, and the dog.

The coos and 'ahs' and burbles and bubbles, These are a few of my favorite things.... The way you punch into the air, compliments of an 'immature' nervous system, and the way your socks dangle from your feet, These are my favorite things. The way you stare at the ceiling fan and smile... Your tiny little nose, Your Buddha belly, and long fingers, These are our favorite things.

One of the oddest things about children and babies is how they fight going to sleep. As an adult, I can't fathom why anyone would fight something so heavenly and wonderful.  When my head hits the pillow, I smile wide and nuzzle into the faux-feathery goodness of the cool pillow beneath my head. But children?  No, no, no. They will squirm, thrash, wail, and make gruesome, scary Halloween faces despite all of a parent's best efforts. As that parent, you will set-up the bedtime routine for success:  the lights are down low, the hum of some lullaby is playing softly in the background and the temperature is just so.  Mommy or daddy settle in for the trying task of winding the child down from a *busy day.  As a mommy to sweet Sayler I have recently discovered ways to calm her, but like the restless little child she is, she bores easily- so what worked for the last 2 or 3 days to help lull her into a deep sleep is no longer useful. I lea...

As a mom there is this overwhelming desire to make and keep your children blissfully happy. With newborns, of course, it isn't always easy to decipher what a baby is trying to tell you they want.  Fortunately, it's generally one of a few things... I'm hungry, I'm sleepy, I need some cuddlin', I got a load in my diaper... For my sweet Sayler, her requests are no different (except she doesn't mind a dirty diaper as much as I do.)  But sometimes I misinterpret "I'm ravenous" for "I need to be rocked". I'm learning. I can now sense when my wee one is getting over-tired and will subsequently be screaming bloody murder.  I know when she has an appetite (for the most part- this girl seems to eat non-stop...) and when she just needs to hear my heart beating next to hers, and feel my warm breath against her skin. I am so ninja-like, in fact, that I have just about mastered the ability to keep her wails to a mere cry, and her cries to a me...