Deuces

I am lost in what number it is. Top 10- or is it 5? It's one of those frequently used words of yours Alana, and I am pleased to hear it when it falls out of your mouth. "Sheesha". That is how you pronounce  "sister". And I would be remiss to not acknowledge that when you and I talk, I always refer to your one and only sibling as "Sister" instead of as Sayler. "Where's sister?...." "Let's go get your sister..." "Go with sister".... I often urge you, in attempts to have you shoo out of my bedroom while I am trying to hide away from my children. And since Sheesha is your favorite person, it's not hard to get you to do anything that involves her. You hug your sheesha every day. Not because we tell you to. Not because of any reason other than your strong need to put your arms around your role model and hold on- often for a full minute, waiting for sheesha to wrap her arms back around you, which she ...

We strolled the grocery aisles- a family of four. We were hungry and homeless-looking, coming straight from a run and play at the park.  Our hands were probably dirty. Our clothes were sweaty. My "messy hair, don't care" bun teetered to one side of my head, reminding the world I needed a cut and color immediately.  Within the store stood a small McDonald's.   Lloyd nodded toward the menu. "Do you want anything?" My face scrunched tightly, revealing my disdain for fast food. "It's still one of the things I can't eat, after all those years being a vegetarian..." I explained.  I took another glance at the menu, pausing thoughtfully as I scanned- the rumble in my abdomen reminding me I was hungry.  The look of disgust on my face didn't match the salivation in my mouth- the scenario took me back a year.  In that moment, I remembered. I remembered the random cravings I had while pregnant with Alana.  One of them wa...

Highlights of home include playing with Lincoln Logs: And having Charmaine, Cheyanne and Charisma over for a slumber party.  Sayler insisted on sleeping with Cheyanne- kicking me to the proverbial curb. Highlights include a year-over-year photo opp to show how rapidly Charlie is growing and how my 'surprise' face remains exactly. the. same.  Aged 12- easily 5' 10" nowadays...   Christmas 2013:     Christmas, 2014 Highlights of home include playing my first iPod.  It cost me a fortune over a decade ago and houses all of my oldest and dearest albums that are only here and not in some... cloud...  Randomly hearing Depeche Mode 's greatest pop up in my playlists makes me smile while I clean, work, Facebook, dance, think, write, muse, chide.  And one of my top 5 favorite songs of all time winds up in the rotation... (tell me this song doesn't make you so happy that you just about burst...)   ...

It's the run, I'm sure. The 6 miles that felt like 12 that reminded me I am way out of shape where endurance is concerned. As the thoughts of my lack of fitness and commitment to consistent, long runs washed over me, I shrugged. "Oh well... No one's perfect..." As I sat in child's pose shortly thereafter I felt the layer of all the devoured Christmas cookies fold up across my mid-section. I was nonplussed by the holiday weight. "It is what it is..." I heard the neighborhood children running through my home and overheard them playing "kidnappers" as they spiritedly held my child for ransom.  I wondered if I needed to intervene but I found it akin to something twisted I would play as a child so I didn't overstep their creative liberties. "So be it..." My home was left sometime later in utter disarray.  I shrugged. I picked up a few toy soldiers that lay underfoot and pushed playthings...

Up early to start baking fresh breads for our evening fete.   Up by 7 a.m. to sit by the fire sola, beaming as I concoct the "Thank You" letter from Santa to Sayler.   Sitting idly, warmly, as I think of Sayler, Ariel and my Husband sleeping soundly.   Smiling widely as I remember last night watching Into the Storm with those same 3 and my mom who quipped "this isn't very Christmassy..."   Feeling excited as I picture my mom's face at the surprise gift for her- a hand-crafted table with a careful paint and stain that Lloyd labored over for many days and nights.  Today he and I will deliver it and place the carefully measured table to perfectly fit her kitchen.   Feeling so thankful for all the presents under the tree-a sign that we can afford them for each other-that we are employed and earn and are giving with ourselves and others because we can be.   And though I haven't at all peeked, by my husband's...

Maria reprimanded me for lack of blogs... and it isn't because I don't have much to say...it is, perhaps, because I have too much to say.   Too many things in a year gone by too quickly... too slowly... too painfully in the growing department, too full in the raising of a daughter department.  Too many things I once wanted to share that I now hold too close.... privately, quietly, with great uncertainty.  But I had, for certain, one of the best days of the year last Friday. That... I want to share.   Each December my brother, Corbin, along with all local fire department and police personnel get gratis entry into our favorite amusement park.   It's a time to be kids, to visit the endless craft vendors in Ghost Town, toddle through Camp Snoopy and take a ride on Montezuma's Revenge- the roller coaster I first rode with Corbin nearly 30 years ago when we went with our parents for the Halloween 'Knott's Scary Farm' adventure.     ...

"Please don't fall asleep!" my daughter pleaded as I curled up into the over-sized sofa, the fire lulling me into slumber as we discussed baby dolls and tower-building.   It is only 6:30 p.m. and though the day has been full, from a 7 a.m. run to a late afternoon, very successful, Christmas shopping session I am nonetheless inexplicably exhausted.   I vaguely recollect my husband making mention of much ado about coffee earlier in the day (it's possible I wasn't listening as intently as a good wife should).   And so, moments ago I sluggishly made way to the garage, where I could hear his circular saw whirring.  I peered into the cold, concreted room that houses all his tools- many of them purchased as gifts over the years- often settling on the Bosch tools, seeming to fit Lloyd's capable personality.  I am, quite surprisingly, a bit of a tool-snob.  I momentarily marveled at his latest under-taking- a hand-crafted piece of furniture- th...

I am grateful for these morning minutes to blog and journal and tidy the home I love so much. I am grateful for my healthy family.  I don't come from money or inheritance or even good luck, but I am grateful I come from hard work and hard-learned lessons and good health.  I am grateful that today my mom is well and my husband and daughter have everything they need.  I am grateful for my friends. Oh, Lord, what would I do without the women who make me laugh until I cry, the ladies with whom I talk at length and with brutal honesty with about our kids, our jobs, men and what we dream about, hope for, plan for, what ails us and what fails us? I am grateful for history- 24 years of friendship.  This girl I sat next to in chorus at Imperial Jr. High.  Our teacher, Mr. Beckman, wore a toupee that waved wildly with each baritone crescendo in class as he waved his wand. Is it called a wand when referring to music? ...

I have this hard and fast rule that no technology is allowed in bed or bedrooms. Though. I am not immune to hypocrisy, especially on Wednesday nights when Lloyd's at the arena playing soccer on his wining team and my partner and I are left to our own devices.  I love time in bed with my daughter. We have the most random conversations where everything (already) happened "next weekend".  You follow?  She calls me sweetheart or sugar or whatever other term of endearment she picked up from me. She will ask me to watch her YouTube shows "let's watch something special..." with love for Russian and British cartoons (strictly her choice believe it or not!)  And we'll snack and she'll fold laundry and I'll make a huge mess by tossing all my toys out of my toy box and then she'll remind me to be tidy and I'll be like, "but I can't find my panda...." She must really struggle with my ability to make a w...

They're the only sounds I want to hear lately.  The trombones and trumpets and all the soul and Parisian-inspired, oft blues-flavored, full-bodied, soulful jazz and slow-waltz, smooth as fresh-cream harmonies.   It's getting lost between Louis and Django and moonlight harmonies with Dinah and Billie.     I recently asked Lloyd if, when considering instrument choices for Sayler to try, we might consider trombone or trumpet.  We're in hung jury status at the moment- though I expect a verdict in a few year's time.   The heavy brass is in all the music I tend to enjoy when I need to decompress in solitude, and in the scores that accompany my scat singing I reserve for when I'm a healthy distance away from friends or co-workers. Let's be honest- my cool reputation is at stake.  But it's recently become 'our' sweet compromise- something her and I both equally take solace in and the only typ...

The best part of the weekend was this:       Aidan made joyful by the home-made spice cake he wanted despite his working moms pleas, otherwise ("but I don't want a store bought cake, mom...") and watching, from a safely dry distance, the water balloon fight that my mom so eagerly joined in on. Sayler seemed  to smile the whole day through, enjoying her time with cousins and taking particular joy in her time spent with her adult cousins, Ariel and Bret, who never say "no" to whatever her heart desires.    CJ put burgers and dogs on the barbecue, always considerate of the several vegetarians in the family. And I took extra special joy in time with Cambria.  Her docile nature, warmth, sweetness and the simple joy and comfort she finds in being held close with unfettered allegiance to everyone that loves her:   And today, Sunday, Lloyd and I went to the mall for dinner and shopping.  We couldn't remember t...

There wasn't any negotiating involved. My daughter and I sat on the kitchen floor with a bag of Dum Dums, her small hands clutching it tightly, possessively.  I asked her to choose one for me and as she carefully sifted through the bag of flavors, I anticipated her M.O. "Do you want a brown one?" she quizzed.. To which I unenthusiastically huffed, "sure", while rolling my eyes. Sayler likes to give me the flavors she does not like, and that is how I ended up with a boring butterscotch dum dum, and she ended up with an amazing cherry dum dum. We enjoyed our suckers while this video uploaded to YouTube.  Lloyd and the infamous #icebucketchallenge It was fun watching Lloyd pour a bucket of ice over himself for charity, and less fun watching his mood deteriorate when I told him we'd have to film it again because I hadn't managed to capture the video. Obviously I did capture it and I wasn't trying to be a prankster...I just really thought I ...

Does it count as blogging when you post pictures?  Jessica so cleverly made these collages (she's the collage-queen).  I thought they were sweet.  I've known these ladies for over 20 years...ooph!   Some photos of my beautiful daughter on one of my favorite days of the year (4th of July!)   And celebrating birthdays with my 3 Cancer girls, baseball and celebrating my 35th (again!) with (more!) dear friends These are some of my favorite summer days... so far...