Deuces

There wasn't any negotiating involved. My daughter and I sat on the kitchen floor with a bag of Dum Dums, her small hands clutching it tightly, possessively.  I asked her to choose one for me and as she carefully sifted through the bag of flavors, I anticipated her M.O. "Do you want a brown one?" she quizzed.. To which I unenthusiastically huffed, "sure", while rolling my eyes. Sayler likes to give me the flavors she does not like, and that is how I ended up with a boring butterscotch dum dum, and she ended up with an amazing cherry dum dum. We enjoyed our suckers while this video uploaded to YouTube.  Lloyd and the infamous #icebucketchallenge It was fun watching Lloyd pour a bucket of ice over himself for charity, and less fun watching his mood deteriorate when I told him we'd have to film it again because I hadn't managed to capture the video. Obviously I did capture it and I wasn't trying to be a prankster...I just really thought I ...

It is Sunday. The day started with a 7 a.m. run that was preceded by a run-in with another early-bird neighbor. I cheered to Dale my 6:45 "good morning!", to which he smiled widely. I knew then, as I watched the humorous grin widen across his face that I had yelled too loudly the greeting, unwittingly, over the sound of my iPod that was set to some dance shuffle. It was early.  There was a remnant cool air leftover from the desert's nightly rendezvous with grey clouds and a tease of a summer storm that was never realized. Despite the world sleeping in, leaving Dale and I alone on Blackberry Drive, I was enthusiastic. I felt the energy and inspiration that I usually reserve for a late night jog through the park envelop me as I warmed my muscles for an unchartered trek through our neighborhood. At one point I found myself quite far- in one of the distant reaches I knew my husband wouldn't approve of. It was the desolate area where blight had ta...

"I am uncertain what sorcery that place bestowed upon me, but I can't think straight and my body is in pain..." -Me. Yesterday. It's summer. Pardon my Gaelic, but I am so, so f'r'k'g happy. Summer always brings out a much, much, much more fun and lighter side to me and I get to see people I care for more often.  I have some more time to try new things, find time to do the things it's been too long since I last done did, and I get to enjoy more precious time with my daughter who has really good taste in things to do, like painting,  and watching Monsters University. Again and again. It's time for baseball, swimming... Lots of swimming... Floating in an inner tube... Maybe falling asleep mid-floater... And yesterday I decided every day until mid-August I will do something new Every. Single. Day.   Maybe the new thing I'll do tomorrow is not lift a finger or clean one single thing in my house. (Just kidding...

Here we sat. We were diligently working on the Minnie Mouse puzzle for the umpteenth time. The monotony of the pieces coming together and trying, once more, to teach my daughter what "the corner" meant.  And when it didn't resonate, I echoed in Spanish "... En la esquina, dulcita" to which she responded in kind "en la a'kina?" She still didnt understand as I lightly touched the edges of the chest-turned-coffee table centered on our family room floor. Mira.  Corner. Esquina. Corner. Esquina. She reached for the center and confidently touched the table while saying "a'kina"!? I smiled.  Too weary to continue with a lesson that could wait, the fatigue of a nightly run washed over me. The run was short.  6 miles trying to beat the sunset washing over the horizon of a warmly lit desert landscape.   I was in love. Do you remember what it was like to fall in love?  I fell in love with each step that raced ...

Today I ran up to Mt. Rubidoux, with the grandest intentions to continue to  run up that great hill that overlooks the Inland Empire and Downtown Riverside.   And though my body had a visceral reaction to the incline that began somewhere between mile 6 and 7 of my lon-run goal, I enjoyed the occasional cool breezes and the site of families and friends making the trek toward the World Peace Bridge. As I made the climb toward the Cross that rests atop the paved hill, my body slowed from a jog to a heavy walk.  I forgave myself for my inability to push through the heaving of my own breath as I watched dogs on leashes with fashionably dressed-owners trek past me, tongues wagging, as if to commiserate with my pain.   As I circled back down, I picked up the pace, once more, though my body wanted nothing more than to stop moving.  And yet,   Unequivocally,   The highlight of the weekend was this run: My young daughter and husband b...

I  had a nice, relaxing Valentine's weekend and somehow managed to pass out each night since Friday before 9 p.m.  The pink and yellow roses Lloyd brought home brighten my kitchen window and the lovely card with his enduring sentiments rests atop the mantle.  But as the long weekend dwindles to a slow, crawling close, I hang out with just my littlest Valentine while Lloyd plays in his weekly Sunday soccer game. And these are the recent images that remind me of how crazy in Love I am with this little beauty: Smooches Before My First Half-Marathon   At KB's Baby Shower   At John's Incredible Pizza Making Our "That's Incredible!" Faces   And again, at John's, displaying our mutual enthusiasm for our "matching denim jackets!" (Her idea, not mine... She's masking her glee behind the faux frown) And Commemorating Our Saylerbration of a First "Official" Pedicure in Photo   This is my littlest ...

Ariel is on her way over, I couldn't be happier. I called and asked if she could bring me coffee, because the coffee from the coffee pot 10 feet away just won't do. She's bringing it, and I couldn't be happier. I am wrapping up a busy work morning, and I couldn't be happier. And when I want to enjoy a country song, I do it when I am alone, quietly tapping away at the computer or driving along the highway since most of the people I know and love aren't country fans. And lately, though it isn't a new song,  I am re-hooked on  this ZBB song The song couldn't make me happier. We will go for an afternoon run, Ariel and I, and though it seems impossible, it will make me even happier.

It's hard not to feel the loss. He brought me to my knees. There was a rush, My heart was beating, and he knocked me out and the worst part... is that I didn't see it coming... I didn't see it coming. It was Sunday night. And I had already been coming off a few days of feeling at a loss, perhaps as the year winds down I reflect on everything I have gained... ...that which I have tried to earn and win and hold onto and as the year slips away, I feel the loss of everything I couldn't keep, make better, grow, bedazzle, or otherwise enrich. Sunday night was no exception. We lost. Granted, an indoor soccer game loss shouldn't be such a bother. But it was a bother. I knew before the game began... the opposing women were those ones who eat, sleep and breathe creatine and were twice the size of any of the girls on our team. Not that that ever bothered me, because I can throw an elbow or a shoulder to the...

"Mommy Go Running?" Sayler often asks as I lace up and grab the earbuds that are always momentarily lost somewhere in the house. I often reply "yep, mommy go running", and I'll plant a big wet kiss on her cheek as she bids me adieu. Someday, not long from now, I will explain to her that it's not just a run... More like "mommy go therapy" or "mommy go away from daddy because she's driving him crazy" or "mommy go listen to her new album" ... and these things just happen to involve the thumping of my heel-toe-strike on the pavement.  But to keep it simple, for now, I simply smile and reply.. "Yep... Mommy go running." It was Saturday that I last laced up for a decent run and I made a promise to myself that I would discover new things about my usual route... that I would pay attention to the details of my hood. Of course... those things can slow a girl down... but it's not ...

It is Sunday.  I will do some shopping. Because the denial I was in pre-Thanksgiving that I wouldn't over-spend this Christmas went out the window as I sat in cyber-space Friday night catching online sales.  My nieces and nephews gifts? Check, check. I am an efficient online shopper.  I have played this game before.  I know the rules and I honestly always, always, always win.  I cannot lose. I have yet to buy Ariel's gifts-though I have a long list of what I want to get her.  I love buying gifts for people I know.  The ones who don't have to tell me what they need or tell me what they secretly wish someone would buy for them.  Those are the best ones. The joy of wanting to spend started on Thanksgiving- though let's not confuse the joy of giving with my abhorrence for Black Friday that begins any earlier than 6 a.m. on Friday.  I loathe, loathe, loathe the idea of anyone going shopping or camping out for a sale when w...

Saturday morning.... Taking breaks from cleaning and purging my home.  This was a good break. Saturday night... Russo's Dirty Thirty Sunday afternoon... Running inspiration from "Dirty Diana" Sunday Night... Pearl Jam Monday... Recuperating and working... Highlight: Pearl Jam playing "Future Days" and Lloyd saying it could almost make him cry. Pearl Jam: Future Days

I'm kind of elated. I'm kind of feeling grateful for this beautiful, cloudy, rainy day. I'm kind of pleased with the messages I've received today. I'm kind of honestly saying that everyone I love is happy and healthy, if only for today.   I'm kind of realizing that I can hardly keep my eyes open this week, but I'm lucky that I'm tired... Because it means my days and nights and mind have been full.  I'm kind of noticing my daughter is becoming a little girl.  She is truly perfect. I'm kind of biased. I'm kind of tense from yesterday's run with Ariel which kind of was one of the most beautiful runs I've had in a long time. I'm kind of excited about the days ahead. I'm kind of anxious to share these photos  of a kind of perfect day. 

The tickets were bought, and it all happened so fast. I definitely don't dislike Pearl Jam.  And it's enough that Lloyd likes Pearl Jam to buy their concert tickets for their show this weekend but I suddenly realized that I am not going to be able to sing along to most of the songs that they belt out on stage, and that makes me somewhat uncomfortable. Because usually I can prepare. I like to prepare. I'd like to sway and hold up my lighter and scream with adulation when one of their 'secret' songs come on because true fans can always detect the "B" sides when no one else can. I kind of like to know more than the people around me... or at least just as much... somehow it makes me feel safe. But last night Lloyd asked me if I would watch Pearl Jam's  Twenty  documentary and as I sat and watched him watch the documentary I knew that it made him happy the way rock music just does. I would be lying if I didn't confess that I liked watchin...

Images of a perfect Saturday: Images of a Perfect Sunday:

I love today already. I can't stop smiling. I love cloudy weather.  I love that I can hear a bird singing outside my window despite the clouds. I love that I chose to play John Mayer's Battle Studies album while I work. I love the view from my couch. These red flowers that thrive next to the white roses that thrive a few yards away from the chimnea I had to have.  I love that I've almost, almost, just about swallowed my pride in the choice to hire a housekeeper.  Because today she came and she made all of my floors lovely and every toy has a place. I love her.  I love that just as I was racing to get out the door for a work appointment on a day when I really, really wanted to stay home and work in my underpants I got a call to ask if we can re-schedule the work apointment. I hugged my phone and I hoped my customer didn't hear the elation and smile in my voice. I love that I am feeling energetic on a day I'd usually rath...

Text-Talk Work-Stuff Music Stuff Family Lovin' and one photo bomber Celebrations with naked babies Running fatigue P.S. I love you.