Deuces

I am lost in what number it is. Top 10- or is it 5? It's one of those frequently used words of yours Alana, and I am pleased to hear it when it falls out of your mouth. "Sheesha". That is how you pronounce  "sister". And I would be remiss to not acknowledge that when you and I talk, I always refer to your one and only sibling as "Sister" instead of as Sayler. "Where's sister?...." "Let's go get your sister..." "Go with sister".... I often urge you, in attempts to have you shoo out of my bedroom while I am trying to hide away from my children. And since Sheesha is your favorite person, it's not hard to get you to do anything that involves her. You hug your sheesha every day. Not because we tell you to. Not because of any reason other than your strong need to put your arms around your role model and hold on- often for a full minute, waiting for sheesha to wrap her arms back around you, which she ...

Alana, 361 nights ago I held you in my arms at exactly this hour. Nursing you, cradling your warm, naked, new body close to mine. Completely in love. So in love. I hope you know that kind of love someday. It's transcendent... unmatched... calming... whole... And you were held, unnamed, in those hours, and it would be 2 days later that we named you, officially.  (It turns out- we couldn't leave the hospital  without naming you). So let me tell you how your name came to be. Alana, Your name was on the short list for a while.   Your dad always liked it. It is my middle name. And when I was pregnant with your sister, gender unknown, he tossed around the name Alana if we had a girl. But I knew the baby I was carrying was not an 'Alana'. Sometimes, you feel things deeper than in your heart... It's in your soul. And so your sister came to have her name, and if fit her perfectly. And then nearly 5 years passed of our lives... And when I held you, my new, calm, gentle baby w...