Deuces

Squat, Lunge, Grunt, Crawl, Jump, Heave, Groan When will I soon decide I won't complain or moan? Spiderman's and Supermans and Arnie's and kicks, Why is this bootcamp instructor such a nobbing prick? Bear crawls, crab walks, robots and flys, I can't seem to love to sweat, how hard I continue to try. Curls, pulls, tossing tires, planks and countless burpees, all designed, I'm pretty sure, to pers-on-al-ly hurt me. Ouch! I'm ready for some abs, like the ones in the 'zines, but why must I crunch so much I can barely even breathe? Protein shakes and low-cal bakes? No. Powdered, coated, vanilla-glazed cakes Yes! Fitness- Memory repression, Couch-sitting obsession, & Late-night snack sessions Keep me coming back... Push, reach, extend, balance, cross, "hustle", "faster", and "keep going", all have me thinking about chocolate chip cookies. Wait, that didn't rhyme. Oops.

I speak Toddlerese. Can I add that to my resume? If not, I call foul. Major foul. I am quite proud of my somewhat proficient, bilingual Toddlerese. I know that "ma" means "mas".... ("more" in Spanish") I know that "Mama" means both mama and dada. And I know the difference between "Here You Go...", "Thank You..." and "Peek-a-Boo". ...Others might not. But as a parent you quickly pick up on the nuances of your child's language. And although "Here You Go...", "Thank You..." and "Peek-a-Boo" sound almost identical coming out of my sweet baby's mouth, I know the difference between them. Granted, Context is everything. When Sayler's cheeks become craters and her hands haphazardly cover her eyes I know she is saying "Peek-a-Boo"... And when she is urgently trying to hand me something that I just must have, she is saying"HereyGo".