5 Exercises I Absolutely Hate.

-
If I could have a tight tushy and not spill out of my swimsuit without having to do the following, I would be the Happiest Mommy on the Block.

1. Lunges. I trucking hate lunges.  I am not ergonomically designed for them and it seems that every Monday at boot camp our instructor makes us do them. I wobble with each step.  I curse.  I look to see if the instructor is looking my way and if she isn't I cheat and don't let that knee touch that gross gravel. Sometimes I physically want to pass out.  Lunges.  I trucking hate you.

2.  Sprints.  Why? Why on Earth is there any reason to run as fast as you possibly could to a distance quite close?  Why?  What is the purpose?  What are we training for people?  The Apocalypse?

3.  Leap Frogs.  Quite honestly I can actually see the value of leap frogs since my bum is considerably rounder. Or is that the cheeseburger I had for lunch?  Anyway, they're silly and fatiguing and silly.

4. Plank variations.  You know, the classic plank I can handle but when we have to start doing jumps and hops and "stop signs" and arm thrusts at the same time I just start to feel awfully annoyed.

5. Kicks.  This is why I couldn't last in Muay Thai.  Too many roundhouses. Oh and getting punched in the face.

And those are my least favorite exercises.  What are yours?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Dear Bobby"

-
Image
"Dear Bobby, I love you. I always look forward to when my husband leaves for work, and you sneak into bed with me. Sometimes, you will wake me up, but usually, you just lie there next to me waiting for my eyes to open." Bobby. You are a cat. But you are the cat of all cats. Unliked some others whose names I will not mention.... you like being a cat. You are my original Obi Kenobi... But you don't like your name and insist I call you "Bobby" or "Bob". You are my predator. You can catch anything- including a rabbit almost twice your size. I remember the time you brought a baby possum into our home. I had just awakened and sleepily headed to use the bathroom when, peering from inside the toilet, was a little possum begging to be released. You cheeky bastard, Bobby. That poor possum. I scolded you and you just turned the other whisker, as if to say "look lady... I am a cat, that's how I do...." The other cats beg for forgiveness when ...
Read More

The Good Dancer: A Dating Story

-
Image
I once dated a really good dancer. That wasn't his only strength. In truth, he was one of thee absolute best dudes I ever made out with.  He was super funny, smart and we clicked right away. But what struck me as odd was that, for the first time before and since, his good dancing skills didn't turn me off.  (For some reason, a man with too much swagger on the floor has always confused and frightened me a little.)  Oh, and I also don't like when they are so involved in their dancing that they forget you are on the floor with them.  Oh, and when they A. crowd you or B. use you as a prop.  Oh, and when they sing along to songs by female artists.  If you know all the lyrics to "I'm a Slave for You", that's both impressive and embarrassing. (I really did have strange deal-breakers with men...) So here was the first guy who I enjoyed dancing with that was actually a really good dancer.  He didn't crowd.  He didn't sweat profusely.  H...
Read More

Degree

-
Image
It was on Friday night. We laughed a lot, perhaps made delirious by the sweet smell of men that were familiar-yet-elusive and desirable. It could have been the wine,  it could have been the great company of old friends and conversations and shared opinions with other women. I disagreed with Ariel more than once, though... "Too sweet" or.... "smells like a jelly bean...." The ones I couldn't put down were the ones that smelled like a man's deodorant, hidden among 75+ samples that scattered in baskets around the coffee table. There we sat around a table full of scents as we sampled the fragrances from a friend's Scentsy collection, eager to fill out our order forms for the smells that would soon promise to envelop our homes. I opted for the "Iced Pine" option, which always reminds me of the home I have not yet lived in and lingered around the fragrances that smelled of citrus and orange peels.  The idea of the smell of "Orange...
Read More