50 Shades of Indifference

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Okay, I read the books so I think I can safely have an opinion that reflects my indifference and lack of interest in the 50 Shades movie.

I might have rolled my eyes as I watched the scenes unfold on my laptop.

I might have gotten into overly-lengthy discussions with my wonderfully beautiful and intelligent girlfriends about what makes a man sexy (on Facebook, of course- as it is the CNN of all intelligent social conversations...)

And even though my horoscope says I am about to have a rockin' weekend where love is concerned I am convinced it won't be because I am in any way swayed by the beguiling (if not awkward) stare of Christian Grey.

What am I missing here, friends?  Why can I not swoon?  Why am I incapable of finding Mr. Grey's broody demeanor in any way intoxicating? Am I the only female alive that finds moody, complicated men selfishly annoying?

Am I the only one who sees this photo and wonders why they look painfully worried (if not constipated) and not even remotely in the mood to get down with each other?



In fact, I have a general disdain for unrealistic characterizations by authors that are determined to make men across the world feel inadequate (or do the same to women).   Granted, I have a long-standing crush on Edward Cullen, but that's because he likes some serious neck-action, and every girl likes to be bitten. #fact

Obviously, my strong opinion herein and need to write on this looming Friday evening is to help ease the tension of tonight's Dodger-Giants game.  As Peter and I text anxiously back and forth while he makes his way to AT&T I take comfort that one of my closest and longest-ever friends is reppin' the 909 and Dodgers in the Bay Area on behalf of nervous fans everywhere...  #Greinke

(Writing about my apathy for soft-porn novels turned into cinematic messes curbs the 50 Shades of Anxiety I am experiencing...)

Friends: Please do share some ways I can get excited about the 50 Shades of Grey film so I, too, can have burning loins for Jamie Dornan's rendition of Christian Grey.  It's isolating fantasizing about "real" men who don't have "red rooms of pain".  #lonely #whoplansValentine'sDayinJuly?

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