Birthday Girl

-
Alana,

361 nights ago I held you in my arms at exactly this hour.

Nursing you, cradling your warm, naked, new body close to mine.

Completely in love.

So in love.

I hope you know that kind of love someday.

It's transcendent... unmatched... calming... whole...

And you were held, unnamed, in those hours, and it would be 2 days later that we named you, officially. 

(It turns out- we couldn't leave the hospital  without naming you).

So let me tell you how your name came to be.

Alana,

Your name was on the short list for a while.  

Your dad always liked it.

It is my middle name.

And when I was pregnant with your sister, gender unknown, he tossed around the name Alana if we had a girl.

But I knew the baby I was carrying was not an 'Alana'.

Sometimes, you feel things deeper than in your heart...

It's in your soul.

And so your sister came to have her name, and if fit her perfectly.

And then nearly 5 years passed of our lives...

And when I held you, my new, calm, gentle baby who arrived nearly 2 weeks late, Alana seemed to fit so well.

A calm, easygoing name to match my easygoing pregnancy (save for the first trimester), the calmness that enveloped my body as I carried you, the way my whole world changed to reconsider all of the things that were important...

But let me tell you how I came to have the middle name Alana.

My uncle's name was Allen.

He was my mom's brother.

He was someone my mother loved, dearly.

A harmless man Iast saw when I was around the age of 11 or 12.

I remember him as a gentle person, an uncle I'd see in passing.

And to validate that name further, my mom's mom loved the actor Alan Ladd.

You see? 

It's a little complex.

But complex is beautiful.

Your name was chosen carefully after we saw you, held you, nursed you, stared at you, slept beside you 2 full nights and passed you to be held by grandma and then, a full day and a half after your birth, your sister.

And for reasons unknown I had never thought to search for the meaning of my middle name, and now your name, prior.

But here is your befitting name:

Alana is a common female given namecoming from the Goidelic/ Hawaiian community meaning fair, beautiful, offering. It also is an Ibo given namewhich means father land or father's land in Igbo language. Alana or Elana can also be the female name in an English translation of Elan which in Hebrew means tree.

Alana, you get so many compliments from strangers "she's beautiful" they say...

And even your pediatrician has said, more than once, "she's perfect".

At your 1 year checkup you weighed in just under 24 pounds, falling in the 93ed percentile for both height and weight.

We're certain you'll be a tall girl, which will go nicely with your beautiful spirit and contemplative nature.

(If you end up petite, I promise I'll be as surprised as you).

Alana,

I must end this post now because you have gotten into my wallet again...

Love, Mama Bird

(Weekend in Monterey ❤️)












 


 














Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Dear Bobby"

-
Image
"Dear Bobby, I love you. I always look forward to when my husband leaves for work, and you sneak into bed with me. Sometimes, you will wake me up, but usually, you just lie there next to me waiting for my eyes to open." Bobby. You are a cat. But you are the cat of all cats. Unliked some others whose names I will not mention.... you like being a cat. You are my original Obi Kenobi... But you don't like your name and insist I call you "Bobby" or "Bob". You are my predator. You can catch anything- including a rabbit almost twice your size. I remember the time you brought a baby possum into our home. I had just awakened and sleepily headed to use the bathroom when, peering from inside the toilet, was a little possum begging to be released. You cheeky bastard, Bobby. That poor possum. I scolded you and you just turned the other whisker, as if to say "look lady... I am a cat, that's how I do...." The other cats beg for forgiveness when ...
Read More

The Good Dancer: A Dating Story

-
Image
I once dated a really good dancer. That wasn't his only strength. In truth, he was one of thee absolute best dudes I ever made out with.  He was super funny, smart and we clicked right away. But what struck me as odd was that, for the first time before and since, his good dancing skills didn't turn me off.  (For some reason, a man with too much swagger on the floor has always confused and frightened me a little.)  Oh, and I also don't like when they are so involved in their dancing that they forget you are on the floor with them.  Oh, and when they A. crowd you or B. use you as a prop.  Oh, and when they sing along to songs by female artists.  If you know all the lyrics to "I'm a Slave for You", that's both impressive and embarrassing. (I really did have strange deal-breakers with men...) So here was the first guy who I enjoyed dancing with that was actually a really good dancer.  He didn't crowd.  He didn't sweat profusely.  H...
Read More

Degree

-
Image
It was on Friday night. We laughed a lot, perhaps made delirious by the sweet smell of men that were familiar-yet-elusive and desirable. It could have been the wine,  it could have been the great company of old friends and conversations and shared opinions with other women. I disagreed with Ariel more than once, though... "Too sweet" or.... "smells like a jelly bean...." The ones I couldn't put down were the ones that smelled like a man's deodorant, hidden among 75+ samples that scattered in baskets around the coffee table. There we sat around a table full of scents as we sampled the fragrances from a friend's Scentsy collection, eager to fill out our order forms for the smells that would soon promise to envelop our homes. I opted for the "Iced Pine" option, which always reminds me of the home I have not yet lived in and lingered around the fragrances that smelled of citrus and orange peels.  The idea of the smell of "Orange...
Read More