She's My Cousin

The hubs and I sat in the car yesterday when I reminded him: "Don't forget we're going roller skating on Saturday and then a birthday party at night."

Hubs: "What birthday party?"

Cams: "For Denise's cousin.  Well, he's not really her cousin, but they lived across the street from one another when we were kids and they always said they were cousins.  Y'know how when you're little and you tell people someone's your cousin even though they aren't?"

Hubs: "No."

Cams: (Pause, Stare, Waiting for him to recall doing that.... Nuttin'.)  "You never said someone was your brother?  Or your sister? Or someone in your family and they weren't??"

Hubs:  "No."

Cams: (Shocked she coud marry someone so incredibly, boringly honest)  "Well, maybe it's an American thing.... or a SoCal thing.... but that's what we used to say about our friends when we were kids."

And we did , didn't we? We would let people go on for years thinking we were related to our best friends.  The BFF that wore her hair in a side ponytail just like us and doubled up on slouchy socks just like us.  And all the fools in school would notice our matching 'tails and slouchy socks and ask "are you sisters?" And it was like the utmost awesomest feeling to know that some doofs out there thought you and your BFF por vida were sisters.  Awesome.

So we told those little white lies.  And so we had all these additional brothers and sisters and cousins out there and no one was the wiser. 

I can also recall when those white lies became juvenile.

I was in my early 20's.  Out at the club- (obvs) and some dude asked me if my smokin' hot friend was my sister and I was like "YEAH!!!" and I was so elated that me and said friend were now officially "sisters" just because someone else said it.

But then that dude bought my sister and I a round and he says to said smokin' hot friend "your sister said you liked Vodka 7's"

And she looked at him like he was a complete idiot and said "we're not sisters."

Clearly, she had given up on that juvenile trend a full decade before me. 

And that's why I never joined a sorority.  I was ready to grow-up and stop calling people my sisters when they weren't.  And anyway.... I have a bucket-full of real sisters and cousins anyway, so I don't need more.