The DoucheMeister: A Dating Story

I once dated a douchelord.  A scoundrel. A curly haired boy who wasn't even all that good looking.

Bitter much?

Naaaaaaahhhhh.

It wasn't too devastating.  He did, after all, have curly hair and his name was Cliff.

Tragic, right?

I was opening a Mimi's location at the time, and like the little single-somethings my colleagues and I were as we traveled around opening restaurants we found ourselves often dating the trainees.

(I think that was "frowned upon" and yet, somehow, we always got away with it.)

So as the "kids" filtered in, one by one, on orientation day, we would call "dibs" on who we would attempt to swoon.  Cliff was the swoonee- I called dibs.

We dated, it was relatively pleasant until....

I discovered he was also dating one of the other trainers.

If she wasn't so hideous I would have had to wreck her face, but mother nature had taken care of that for me.  Karma often works backwards, it would seem.

Because certainly I could part with his curly dark locks with ease, but for those of us who live by "girl-code" she definitely had it coming.

Snatch.

The moral of the story is, if you live by the code like the rest of us you probably won't have to put out to get boys to like you.

Just sayin'...