Awkward
I find some things very awkward.
Last week as my next door neighbor and I chatted outside my dog walked over to her lawn, squatted on her hinds and pooped. My neighbor laughed, but I felt like a bad mother as I ran over, bag in hand and followed Penny's poop trail- which always comes in three nuggets because she walks and poos simultaneously. Doing the walk-and-bend-dance while profusely saying "I'M SOOOO SORRY" was very awkward.
It can be very awkward when you are at the gym, notice a man who looks like a Greek God, stare at said Greek God, and then suddenly see your husband watching you watching Brad Pitt, the early years, waltzing by. The God in this hypothetical scenario has olive skin, weighs in at a very healthy 225, is reaching heights of 6'3" or greater and has on blue and red trackpants that have those buttons down the sides.... you know... the pull-away kind...... .I might or might not be speaking from personal experience.
And I don't know why I find the following awkward, but it just is. You know when you are saying goodbye to someone and you are all emphatic about it? You are hugging, maybe crying, professing how you will have to get together again sooner than later, and it's all emotional? And then you walk out to your car and realize you forgot your keys or something and you have to walk back in. So after that 20 minute goodbye you have to pop your head back in and say "Oh, I forgot something"... and then it's like, how do you say goodbye? Like "O.K., Later!" or do you go through the whole routine again? My butt sweats when I have to go through that. I find that totally awkward.
And it doesn't get much more awkward than when you are at the gym, running on the incline, lip sync'ing to Pandora and earplugs become unplugged from the Blackberry. So.... basically everyone heard "My Humps" playing and saw me singing along. I totally even rolled my head when the lyrics "Check it out..." came on.
Awkward.
Last week as my next door neighbor and I chatted outside my dog walked over to her lawn, squatted on her hinds and pooped. My neighbor laughed, but I felt like a bad mother as I ran over, bag in hand and followed Penny's poop trail- which always comes in three nuggets because she walks and poos simultaneously. Doing the walk-and-bend-dance while profusely saying "I'M SOOOO SORRY" was very awkward.
It can be very awkward when you are at the gym, notice a man who looks like a Greek God, stare at said Greek God, and then suddenly see your husband watching you watching Brad Pitt, the early years, waltzing by. The God in this hypothetical scenario has olive skin, weighs in at a very healthy 225, is reaching heights of 6'3" or greater and has on blue and red trackpants that have those buttons down the sides.... you know... the pull-away kind...... .I might or might not be speaking from personal experience.
And I don't know why I find the following awkward, but it just is. You know when you are saying goodbye to someone and you are all emphatic about it? You are hugging, maybe crying, professing how you will have to get together again sooner than later, and it's all emotional? And then you walk out to your car and realize you forgot your keys or something and you have to walk back in. So after that 20 minute goodbye you have to pop your head back in and say "Oh, I forgot something"... and then it's like, how do you say goodbye? Like "O.K., Later!" or do you go through the whole routine again? My butt sweats when I have to go through that. I find that totally awkward.
And it doesn't get much more awkward than when you are at the gym, running on the incline, lip sync'ing to Pandora and earplugs become unplugged from the Blackberry. So.... basically everyone heard "My Humps" playing and saw me singing along. I totally even rolled my head when the lyrics "Check it out..." came on.
Awkward.
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