At Night

At night I relax.

I watch trashy T.V., I chat with my mom, I fold laundry that has been patiently waiting in the dryer for a few hours (or a few days- eek) and I make lists of what I need to do, and where I need to go the next day.  I'm a lists kind of gal.

I do all this while you sleep.

While you are sleeping I can get so much done.

 I can stretch my arms and shoulders that have been hunched over all day holding you.  It feels so nice...

I can rest my toes and legs and knees and thighs that have been bouncing you all day... bliss....

I can talk and text in adult tones and use big words.... finally.

But then,

Suddenly,

I look at the clock and more often than not I go to bed before my tired eyes tell me it's time.  Because despite all hours of relaxation that the night has to offer,

I miss you.

I go to bed and stare at you and wait for you to wake up for your nightcap.  Sometimes, I am so anxious to hold you in my arms I purposely shuffle loudly in the dark of the room in an effort to 'accidently' wake you.  If you still do not stir, I might sigh deeply... and then again.

And if all else fails, I whisper;

"Sayler..."

Many times you will smile before your eyes even open, as though in a dream.  I will stroke your cheek and whisper again,

"Sayler..."

Your eyes will begin to lazily open, and close, and open, and close.

Then I will pick you up, hold you close and tell you how much I love you,

over and over...

and over again.