Rick

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I sat quietly on the long drive home...

I was thinking about my colleagues who I had just spent time with.... I was thinking about the stories we were telling....

My mind wandered and in a quiet moment, with my baby sleeping soundly in the backseat I thought about my colleague's husband,

Jim.

No.  His name isn't Jim....

What's his name?

Joe?

Ned?

I passed 4 exits pondering a name I once knew so readily.  I thought on it intently for fear that his name would escape me forever... and when I went to address my Christmas cards I would struggle with a way to get his name....

A one-syllable name, I was sure of that...

And then, there it was....

"Rick"

I smiled, sleepily, happy I had conjured up his name and all was right and well with my Christmas card list again.

I am forgetful lately.

Very forgetful.

And as I drove on through the dark night, eagerly counting the exits until I reached home, I knew something was going on.

One of two things-

1. I have early onset Alzheimer's
2. I am a mom to a beautiful baby girl

Our baby girl has had a cold this week. 

And until I was a parent I just never thought much about what it would be like when Sayler first got sick.

But there we were, her and I, at 3 o'clock in the morning standing in a hot steamy shower, in pajamas, with the hot sprays of water facing the far wall, careful not to get wet.

We stood in the steam so my sweet, sleepy baby could breath again.  Every few minutes I would carefully open the shower door to grab a new tissue and wipe away the bogies that were readily oozing from her sweet, tiny nose. 

She would gasp.

I would rock her.

We would stare at one another, our faces cloe together with little room to move.  We weren't cooing, or smiling, or making faces.  

In those quiet moments, she surveyed my face, carefully studying the fine lines around my eyes and my eyelids worn heavy with fatigue.  Her hand reached upward to stroke my cheek and tug on my hair.

We would be back in bed in minutes, and back in the shower several times again that morning.

I was tired. 

I was forgetful.

And it caught up to me last night.

But then there it was,

"Rick".

I wasn't completely lost.

My husband then let me have a night off, so I booked a room across the hall.

I slept through the night.

So today I am rested,

I am ready to rock my sweet baby girl.

and I won't forget a thing...

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