The Thing About Facebook

The Thing about Facebook is many things.

There are a ton of rules.

There is all kinds of Facetiquette.

But,

Like, you have to figure it out as you go.  Here is what I have learned and what I still have some serious questions about.  In fact, if you have an answer, please, please share.

1.  No one wants to hear all your drama on Facebook.  It makes me like, really uncomfortable.  Anyone else?

2.  There might be a limit on how many pictures of your baby doing nothing you can post in a day (A rule I am sure to never follow) so if such a rule exists, I defy that rule and to that rule I flip the bird.

3. There are guidelines as to which of your exes you can "friend", apparently.  Like, you know how you wouldn't deny their request but yet you don't want to "friend" request them first in case they

A. Deny the request.
B. Ignore the request and therefore you are left in Facebook Friend purgatory.

Because:

A. You don't want them to think you still pine for them
B. It's kinda' like the staring game and he who blinks (gets the first friend request first) wins.  Or loses.  Wait, I'm confusing myself, but you know what I mean.
C. There is this strange feeling that if you request them they will tell EVERYONE you know that they won the game of friend requesting and everyone you know will think you done lost yo mind, girl.
D. All of the above

3.5 And while we're on the subject of people we once dated and the "rules" I guess most couples lay out the rules.  But Lloyd and I don't have such rules because I guess we're far too liberal. So, what are most couples' rules??

A.  Do you go based on number of months or years you spent with ex to qualify whether they are on the "absolutely not" list?
B. Do people you once made out with qualify as an "ex" and are they list-worthy?
C. If you were totally crushing on them but never dropped the "L" bomb does that make them safe?
D. Is it a case-by-case scenario?

Enquiring minds want to know.

4. If you have too few friends it looks like you are overly selective and *may* be a bit snobby but if you have too many friends it just looks like you are a collector.  So what is the healthy number of friends???  And if you have a lot of primas and primos y su familia esta enorme does this mean you are entitled to mas amigos?  Because if this is the case, well, quite frankly I have so many siblings and cousins I think our family single-handedly ruined the gene pool in Southern California.  Scientists have actually published reports on how all humans originated from an ape with the last name "Dorado".

5. If you post too frequently it looks like you need to find some other hobbies but if you post too infrequently people might think you only have a Facebook because you are metiche and/or a *lurker* and no one likes a lurker.

6. I am ALL for making your Facebook page private.  But like, don't make your page SO frikkin' private that we have to zoom in on a picture of your baby and therefore wonder if that *could* be you based on genetic features of the baby.

7. Can someone *please* explain why someone would create a Facebook page and then never respond to any of the emails, comments, etc. people leave on their page?  Stop lurking already.  We're on to you.

Okay.  I think I've highlighted the major points.  Please feel free to add. 

Cheers-

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