Things I Thought

What were the things you thought?

Those white lies and fallacies you unwittingly believed for far too long.

Please share-

I'm dying for your company.

Like, you know... were you one of those kids that erroneously used the word "death" when what you meant to say was "deaf"?  Don't deny it... you were, weren't you?

I was not.

I swear.

I know I wasn't because I distinctly remember feeling both joyful and annoyed when I heard a classmate use the word incorrectly, even as a young girl. 

But I wasn't immune to my own brain's inaccuracies or feeling like a complete buffoon on numerous occasions.

In fact,

Do you know what euthanasia is?  You know, that whole assisted death business initiated by the late Dr. Kevorkian?

You know what it is, don't you?

You do because you are wise and intelligent and awesome.

But I remember I was the only student in my English 1B class at Chaffey College who didn't know what it was.

I sat there, front row and focused intently on my esteemed professor as she gave us an assignment, all-the-while referencing euthanasia as an example of the type of passionate topic she wanted to see us use.  It would be an argumentative essay that would have many sides and emotions attached to it. 

She spoke about death and dying, her eyes lighting up while igniting a fire in each of us to choose whether we were "for" or against it.  How did we feel about such a controversial act?  How do we think our loved ones would feel about euthanasia?

As the words left her lips, I scanned the room... anxious to see how my counterparts were feeling... how they felt about this "controversial" topic.  Were they angry?  Were they saddened? Were they musing on what they would write about?

What I was looking for, in reality, was to see if I couldn't figure out what the HELL my teacher was talking about based on their faces.

I wondered, "What do the youth in Asia have to do with death and dying and why would anyone be mad at them?"

Seriously, I'm not even KIDDING you that I thought my professor had taken one too many hits off a dirty pipe and didn't know what she was talking about.

But there I was, 19 years old, in college thinking I was smarter than a 5th grader.

I quietly left the classroom and headed to the lab where I could Google "youth in Asia" and have it come back with do you mean "euthanasia", you stupid, stupid girl?.

Yea.

That was a rough day.

And sometimes,

I remember other AHA! moments, that occurred many moons and days later than when I should have known better.

Like,

When I see the toilet seat up.

I smile because I distinctly remember being a young girl and thinking that the option to lift the toilet seat up was to accomodate men and women with bigger butts.

Really.

Like, 2 sizes conveniently in one bowl.

The fact that I remember it so well indicates that I thought that for a very long time.  Far past an appropriate age to understand that toilet seats went up for boys and toilet seats went down for girls.

Back then, I pondered at what age I would have a tushy worthy of the super-size option.  At what age would I be able to "Go Big"?  (Thankfully, I can say, my butt is still too small for the "up" option and if you're thinking otherwise I will cut you ).

Of course, I also once thought Vanilla Ice was the most handsome man I had ever seen, so, clearly, I've been delusional on some level for many, many years.

And those are some of the things I once thought when others knew better.

What about you???  What did you once think or not know for far too long?