HELP WANTED

I find myself typing this quickly, because, really, I only have but a few minutes.

And I even feel guilty using these few minutes while I lie on an un-made bed whose sheets are clean and waiting to be draped over this bare-naked mattress.

At least the laundry and the sheets are clean...

I was able to do that.

Although,

I guess I'm not giving enough credit to the washing machine and dryer. 

But every day I find myself trying to be much more efficient so that I can be the woman who does it all,

herself.

I find myself juggling my baby on a hip with a load of laundry under my arms, keys dangling from my mouth, a computer or work bag draped over my elbow, and a sippy cup hugging the seams of my trouser pockets.

And if I am barefoot, I will oftentimes even use my feet and toes to clutch wrappers and laundry that have escaped my arms and hands.  (I swear, I am THAT flexible and efficient) while juggling said above items.

And yet,

No matter how much I try to do simultaneously, quickly and efficiently I find that my home always seems like a photo advert for FEMA.

And then there's my baby.

The one who I pretend to be playing with as I fold laundry while playing peek-a-boo with the now-clean dish towels.  I might softly whip her tender face with a pair of clean socks as I match and roll them and I will let her play with a hanger while I hang up daddy's work shirts.

I move fast.

And if I'm lucky,

I'll get 5-10 items properly put away and then she is bored.

So we will move on to the next "game" of me trying to keep her entertained while I finish one last work email just before bed.  I will sing the lyrics of my professional email out loud in an over-animated tone, while she watches.  Then she will try to 'tap' her hands on my keyboard and I will know that I it is a fruitless effort.

And then there are the moments I try to unload the dishwasher, quickly,  while she carefully examines a clean silver soon and spatula.

She'll get bored, so the rest of those clean dishes will have to wait to be homed in their cupboards.

And so,

Last night,

without even realizing what I was doing,

I found myself looking on Craigslist for a housekeeper.

Are you judging me?

Yea,

Me too.

But I am slowly realizing that I am one woman, with one awesome baby, a great husband and a busy job. All I need now is someone to clean my sticky kitchen floor and put away the never-ending piles of laundry... And dust my blinds.... and clean my sink and countertops.... and polish the furniture...

That's all.