Deuces

Squat, Lunge, Grunt, Crawl, Jump, Heave, Groan When will I soon decide I won't complain or moan? Spiderman's and Supermans and Arnie's and kicks, Why is this bootcamp instructor such a nobbing prick? Bear crawls, crab walks, robots and flys, I can't seem to love to sweat, how hard I continue to try. Curls, pulls, tossing tires, planks and countless burpees, all designed, I'm pretty sure, to pers-on-al-ly hurt me. Ouch! I'm ready for some abs, like the ones in the 'zines, but why must I crunch so much I can barely even breathe? Protein shakes and low-cal bakes? No. Powdered, coated, vanilla-glazed cakes Yes! Fitness- Memory repression, Couch-sitting obsession, & Late-night snack sessions Keep me coming back... Push, reach, extend, balance, cross, "hustle", "faster", and "keep going", all have me thinking about chocolate chip cookies. Wait, that didn't rhyme. Oops. ...

I speak Toddlerese. Can I add that to my resume? If not, I call foul. Major foul. I am quite proud of my somewhat proficient, bilingual Toddlerese. I know that "ma" means "mas".... ("more" in Spanish") I know that "Mama" means both mama and dada. And I know the difference between "Here You Go...", "Thank You..." and "Peek-a-Boo". ...Others might not. But as a parent you quickly pick up on the nuances of your child's language. And although "Here You Go...", "Thank You..." and "Peek-a-Boo" sound almost identical coming out of my sweet baby's mouth, I know the difference between them. Granted, Context is everything. When Sayler's cheeks become craters and her hands haphazardly cover her eyes I know she is saying "Peek-a-Boo"... And when she is urgently trying to hand me something that I just must have, she is saying"HereyGo". ...