Squat, Lunge, Grunt, Crawl, Jump, Heave, Groan

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Squat, Lunge, Grunt, Crawl, Jump, Heave, Groan

When will I soon decide I won't complain or moan?

Spiderman's and Supermans and Arnie's and kicks,

Why is this bootcamp instructor such a nobbing prick?


Bear crawls, crab walks, robots and flys,

I can't seem to love to sweat, how hard I continue to try.

Curls, pulls, tossing tires, planks and countless burpees,

all designed, I'm pretty sure, to pers-on-al-ly hurt me.

Ouch!


I'm ready for some abs, like the ones in the 'zines,

but why must I crunch so much I can barely even breathe?

Protein shakes and low-cal bakes?

No.

Powdered, coated, vanilla-glazed cakes

Yes!


Fitness- Memory repression,

Couch-sitting obsession,

& Late-night snack sessions


Keep me coming back...

Push, reach, extend, balance, cross, "hustle", "faster", and "keep going",
all have me thinking about chocolate chip cookies.

Wait, that didn't rhyme.

Oops.

  • Funny Confession Ecard: The reason I wasn't angry when you confused me with someone else is because she's skinnier than me.














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