I Spend

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I spend too much time thinking. Lloyd says I create my own anxiety, to which I respond with some anxiety.

I spend too much time multi-tasking.  When I have only one thing to do, I am lost.  And then I decide to write.  So if you are seeing an inordinate amount of posts from me, give me something to do.  (Cleaning your floors not included in this trial offer).

I spend my jogging sessions thinking about work.   And also trying to block out thoughts about work because I know that somewhere, some fitness guru is advising people to utilize their exercising as a way to block out stuff like work but I just can't seem to manage.  

I spend my mornings cuddled up in bed with my daughter. She is extremely silly in the mornings and her smile is infectious enough to almost make me forget I need coffee.

Almost.

I spend my weekend mornings cocooning.  You are not familiar with cocooning.  This is my way of saying that I stare at a wall and think about so many things and that I like to be wrapped up, cocoon-style in bed.  I am not necessarily tired. If you are ever privy to the joy of cocooning with me, you must be pretty special. Ariel is among my favorite cocoonees. If I miss a cocooning session, I am unable to effectively function and my bills will not get paid.  It's a weird symbiotic relationship. 

I spend half of the weeknights reading to my daughter. Lloyd alternates nights.  She and I cuddle close and we read her "Strawbry" book and "LadyTramp" book and "I'll Love You Forever" and The one where she gets to say "YoHoHo!!!" which is actually entitled "Time For Bed, Spot".  It's all so, so, so, fantastic but a little bit monotonous because those are her favorites and sometimes she will ask "what's that?" 400 times in a row.

I spend too many nights up way too late. Seriously.  I need an intervention!!!

I spend money on organic snacks and "Non-Gmo" and "RsBT-free" and "Real-Fruit" and "Cage-Free" and "Grain-Fed" and "Fairly-Traded" and "No HFCS" and I probably could save some dough by eating normal.

I spend my evenings curled up watching Friends on DVD with Lloyd until he retires. After that, I work and write and research and listen to the Friends episodes play in the background.

I spend my energy in futile ways. This may be one of the ways.


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