Let It Go
I've decided that of all the emotions I can feel, among the most crippling is to feel uninspired.
It's everything that drives my everydays.
And it's possible I've been battling a heavy dose of the "uninspired" lately.
But I have slowly been letting it go, more or less, maybe enough to get over myself just a little...
And I can attribute, as least in part, that singing "Let it Go", out loud, to my own kin's dismay, has helped me to carry on.
"Mommy, it's too loud singing ..."
Sayler's admonishment of what I can only call my finest theatrical interpretation of the hit single from "Frozen" didn't make me falter.
I smiled as I continued on, arms open wide, mop-as-microphone- in full confidence:
"Let it GO! Let it GO! Can’t hold it back aaaaa-nymo-ooore...Let it GO, let it GOOOO, turn away and SA-LAM the do-oooor..."
And then I realized that I didn't know the rest of the lyrics, and much to my daughter's satisfaction I went from "too loud" to "too misguided".
But I'm totally going to Google the lyrics and then wake my chastizing daughter one early morning with the obnoxious harmony of determination emanating from my soul.
Let's see if she can let that go.
And I know the moment that I just about let it go.
It was a long conversation with my brother as I sat in the cold confines of the car wash waiting room on Friday.
Getting my vehicle scrubbed was just one of the many things I had been putting off, lacking any sense of urgency or energy which are always the tale-tell signs of me feeling down.
It had been too many weeks since we had last spoken. Life had made us busy, and, perhaps because we both fell from the same tree, we both have the same tendency to withdraw from the world, our family, our friends when we can't make sense of the forces working around us.
But I was made happy by his happiness.
I was proud of him and his most recent accomplishments, his way of accepting without hesitation everything he had earned and worked for come his way.
The vitality in his voice, his reassuring responses to everything that plagued me, his quiet understanding, and occasional witty quips to force me into a reality I was avoiding was just what I needed.
And of course, because he's my brother, let me not confuse you into thinking he's a Messiah.
He drives me bat shit crazy sometimes.
It's always because he knows me well and it's sometimes because he wants to talk everything through when I most often don't want to share my weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
And it's disconcerting to have someone see right through you, but sometimes it's also exactly what you need.
So... maybe if you're also having some trouble letting something go, I might advise you seek the comfort of someone who has seen you at your best and worst; someone who has forgiven you for ruining their 8th birthday trip to 'Santa's Village' with a sudden case of a very violent flu (seriously: I could not control it...); the person who remembers your most awkward years, your chubby youth, the time you made out with their friend and tried to deny it...
That's who can make you feel better.
And, if that isn't quite cutting it, I suggest you learn the lyrics, toot suite, to Let it Go and belt it out, unapologetically, even if your children aren't impressed.
It's everything that drives my everydays.
And it's possible I've been battling a heavy dose of the "uninspired" lately.
But I have slowly been letting it go, more or less, maybe enough to get over myself just a little...
And I can attribute, as least in part, that singing "Let it Go", out loud, to my own kin's dismay, has helped me to carry on.
"Mommy, it's too loud singing ..."
Sayler's admonishment of what I can only call my finest theatrical interpretation of the hit single from "Frozen" didn't make me falter.
I smiled as I continued on, arms open wide, mop-as-microphone- in full confidence:
"Let it GO! Let it GO! Can’t hold it back aaaaa-nymo-ooore...Let it GO, let it GOOOO, turn away and SA-LAM the do-oooor..."
And then I realized that I didn't know the rest of the lyrics, and much to my daughter's satisfaction I went from "too loud" to "too misguided".
But I'm totally going to Google the lyrics and then wake my chastizing daughter one early morning with the obnoxious harmony of determination emanating from my soul.
Let's see if she can let that go.
And I know the moment that I just about let it go.
It was a long conversation with my brother as I sat in the cold confines of the car wash waiting room on Friday.
Getting my vehicle scrubbed was just one of the many things I had been putting off, lacking any sense of urgency or energy which are always the tale-tell signs of me feeling down.
It had been too many weeks since we had last spoken. Life had made us busy, and, perhaps because we both fell from the same tree, we both have the same tendency to withdraw from the world, our family, our friends when we can't make sense of the forces working around us.
But I was made happy by his happiness.
I was proud of him and his most recent accomplishments, his way of accepting without hesitation everything he had earned and worked for come his way.
The vitality in his voice, his reassuring responses to everything that plagued me, his quiet understanding, and occasional witty quips to force me into a reality I was avoiding was just what I needed.
And of course, because he's my brother, let me not confuse you into thinking he's a Messiah.
He drives me bat shit crazy sometimes.
It's always because he knows me well and it's sometimes because he wants to talk everything through when I most often don't want to share my weaknesses and vulnerabilities.
And it's disconcerting to have someone see right through you, but sometimes it's also exactly what you need.
So... maybe if you're also having some trouble letting something go, I might advise you seek the comfort of someone who has seen you at your best and worst; someone who has forgiven you for ruining their 8th birthday trip to 'Santa's Village' with a sudden case of a very violent flu (seriously: I could not control it...); the person who remembers your most awkward years, your chubby youth, the time you made out with their friend and tried to deny it...
That's who can make you feel better.
And, if that isn't quite cutting it, I suggest you learn the lyrics, toot suite, to Let it Go and belt it out, unapologetically, even if your children aren't impressed.
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