Mom

I started Mother's Day writing about my daughter...

I followed it with a run.

I came home to find my husband cooking, as he does every Mother's Day, what I have asked for. And among the things I requested he make I had a hankering for a cheese plate that included an awesome Brie and mozzarella... 

Lloyd is an excellent chef. And when Mother's Day approaches I always spend a long while asking my heart what it desires most from his cooking skills.

And on my run I pushed myself a little harder, and a little further.  I went for miles without a watch, without a pace, without anything but gratitude..

It was my way of taking care of myself and thanking my body for giving me the greatest creation I could have hoped for.

I am a mom.

I sometimes reflect on my body and all the ways it has changed since becoming a mom and everything it allows me to do.  I think of it more now that I have created and carried a daughter, and as I age, as I work long days, sitting, standing, pulling, pushing, jogging across campuses as I inevitably run late for a meeting... I honor my body with indulgence and care in new ways since and I push it to new limits so that I may reflect an energy and vitality that my daughter can be proud if. Pushing myself and trying new things is every bit a reflection of how I see her and very much a symbol of me wanting to share many healthy years with her.

She has changed me.

And as I watch my daughter engage her body in new and profound ways.. her skips, jumps, catapults, throws, launches, flailing arms to signal we may be mid-disappointment and the way she reaches up for me, asking to "hold you"...

And I reach down with the arms I try to keep strong so that I may lift her for as many years as she will let me...

I am thankful that the world has seen fit to make me hers...

On my run I marveled at my own mom, the ways she provided for 6 children and worked long, physically demanding hours and I am grateful, every day, for her health and well-being. 

I am thankful that she liked to read and write and take me to the library to choose whatever books I wanted to check-out and inspired a deep curiosity within me that keeps me poring over words and constantly learning about the world around us...

I am grateful that despite not having any space in our 900 square foot home with 6 children and many broken toys and hand-crafted macaroni bracelets my mom found space to be organized with her bills and mail and demonstrated the importance of creating time and space for doing things on time (I'm a little OCD about my organizing, though unsure whether I can pin that on my mom...)

I am eternally grateful that my mom is liberal, and taught me to not sweat the small stuff or other people's business. 

I am grateful for my mom and daughter who continue to shape the mom I am forever evolving into.  

And I am thankful for all the kind messages that flooded my phones from everyone who knows that Mother's Day is one of my favorite days of the year, as it marks the most important transition of my life.