Deuces

Today, I guess what's different, is I have made grandiose plans to write the summer away with a pen and paper... Like the days of yore.  It means I won't be able to write to the someones and no ones among the anonymous readers and to the 11 certain-subscribers to my blog.  It means my summer days and everything I'm trying to do differently will be in sloppy script instead of carefully spell-checked and back-spaced and Google-searched to clarify correct-meaning-words.. Today I decided the latent birthday gift I'd like to get myself is a new spiral bound notebook, or something else wonderful and pretty where my right hand can get exercise after too many years of non-use. Perhaps I'll pick up some colored ballpoint pens, because I used to love writing with colored ballpoints-  the ones whose ink you can see through the clever windows as they slowly dry out.  I hope I can find just the ones I used to love- I'm not even sure if they are made anymore. The green one wa...

"I am uncertain what sorcery that place bestowed upon me, but I can't think straight and my body is in pain..." -Me. Yesterday. It's summer. Pardon my Gaelic, but I am so, so f'r'k'g happy. Summer always brings out a much, much, much more fun and lighter side to me and I get to see people I care for more often.  I have some more time to try new things, find time to do the things it's been too long since I last done did, and I get to enjoy more precious time with my daughter who has really good taste in things to do, like painting,  and watching Monsters University. Again and again. It's time for baseball, swimming... Lots of swimming... Floating in an inner tube... Maybe falling asleep mid-floater... And yesterday I decided every day until mid-August I will do something new Every. Single. Day.   Maybe the new thing I'll do tomorrow is not lift a finger or clean one single thing in my house. (Just kidding...

Sayler's warm, sweaty hand was draped over my neck.   We lie, uncomfortably, our foreheads connected, the way athletes show camaraderie during prayer before a big game...   I was attempting to ease her back into sleep.   I was immobilized, worried if I moved prematurely I would stir the little girl who was caught somewhere between slumber and full-out Energizer Bunny mode.   (Because there's nothing in-between for toddlers).   I had only my thoughts to keep me company,   and my thoughts drifted to one of the numerous nicknames, "C-Note", I have acquired in these last few adult years.   And thinking about a "C-Note" made me think of a gift I gave to my father.     I was just a young girl- no older than 8 or 9- when I had won enough tickets from games played at Bullwinkle's to acquire a prize behind the brightly-lit display.   There were so many wonderful things...   Ite...

Thank you: to all of you who treat me with such love and kindness and read my mundane blog and shared in the celebration of my life.

Here we sat. We were diligently working on the Minnie Mouse puzzle for the umpteenth time. The monotony of the pieces coming together and trying, once more, to teach my daughter what "the corner" meant.  And when it didn't resonate, I echoed in Spanish "... En la esquina, dulcita" to which she responded in kind "en la a'kina?" She still didnt understand as I lightly touched the edges of the chest-turned-coffee table centered on our family room floor. Mira.  Corner. Esquina. Corner. Esquina. She reached for the center and confidently touched the table while saying "a'kina"!? I smiled.  Too weary to continue with a lesson that could wait, the fatigue of a nightly run washed over me. The run was short.  6 miles trying to beat the sunset washing over the horizon of a warmly lit desert landscape.   I was in love. Do you remember what it was like to fall in love?  I fell in love with each step that raced ...

My husband was happy when he came home, sometime after 9 p.m. on this quiet Wednesday evening.   It made me happy.   Our daughter was asleep, far earlier than the norm and so, for a few moments, I was able to feel his contentment radiate without sharing his glow with anyone else.   Though his team had lost their evening soccer game, he was content.   Those brief moments before he went to bed calmed me.   She was happy and resting, he was happy and at ease.    I was ready to welcome a long June evening similarly.   As I lie in the dark, beckoning sleepiness to overcome me, my fingertips lightly grazed my lower abdomen the way they do when I am relaxing, lost in deep thought or otherwise self-soothing from a busy day.   I could feel the faint hollows under the delicate zig-zag of fingertips at the surface of skin left scarred and otherwise etched with an insignia that reads as "Sayler was here". ...

Every once in a while I grab a screenshot of something that makes me laugh, smile or put things in perspective for a day.  Today, I loved this.