Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I am a good mom.

I wanted you to know.

It doesn't mean my kids are perfect, and it certainly doesn't mean I am.

Ooph.

No way.

But I am confident in one thing, and it's that I am a good mom.

I am still your little girl dancing in the aisles of the grocery store. 

I am still your little girl writing little stories, and occasionally even poems.

I am still your little girl who likes to read; though admittedly it's more of the online product reviews than thrillers and tales of times long past these days. 

I am still your little girl looking to live simply, whatever that means.

And now I have little girls and I see how much my parenting has taken shape because of you.

I know I am a little strict and almost dismissive to little girl tears.

Buck up, daughter. 

Though in an ironic twist I can be a softie when it comes to allowing little ones to join me in bed or join me in random fits of hysteria, just as you would. 

Bedtimes are a thing of never as your daughter. And I might be raising your granddaughters to shun disciplined bedtime rules, too.

Just like you.

Because life can be short, so we will stay up late.

We will make lots of noise.

We will snack.

We won't look at the clock.

We will do as I did when I was your little girl.

And like you I will raise my daughters to be kind to animals and to not judge a book by its cover, though I know I have failed miserably at times on the latter so I will try harder.  

I will try again.

I won't let others sway me. 

I'd like to be a daughter you can be proud of.

Even when it's hard.

I'd like to defend others as you always did even if it gets me sucker punched. 

Even if it puts me on the shift list.

I'd like to lend a helping hand even when it's inconvenient.

I'd like to honor my mother, to be good to her, as you did your mother.

These are the things you have taught me.

And though you never had a chance to see me have children I want you to know

I am a good mom.

Lenient in some ways, stoic in others, quite impatient though with a sense of humor with my children similar to yours. 

I wish I could ask you about parenting. 

I wish you could give me advice, hold my children and validate choices I make as their mom. 

I wish I could call you and tell you when I am confused so you could calmly tell me to stay true to who I am and not let others ruffle my feathers.

I wish you could remind me that when others question my lifestyle, my choices, my character, my parenting that it is their problem and not mine.

But I can't call you, so I will just try to remember and tell my little girls as they get older.

You always had wise things to say and if you were here today I think you would agree,

I am a good mom.