Sol

I lie my head down each night. And most of these nights I think about how I had no time to write. 

But I don’t think on it begrudgingly. 

Rather, I feel an ease and contentedness in my heart, knowing that my days are so full that by the time my head hits the pillow I haven’t had time to write.

Most nights, I lie next to my 2 girls.

They fuss and fidget over who sleeps next to me,

Often clawing one another to squeeze in.

It makes me hot.

Especially on a Southern California night like this.

At times I’ll opt to lie between them, seemingly satisfying both of my best girls wishes to be close.

It isn’t quite enough.

They still claw. 

I love them.

Sayler lost her first tooth this summer. 

She came home from summer camp, beaming one day. The hole in her mouth evidencing her first bottom tooth has finally wiggled free. 

And Alana’s summer has been only slightly more dramatic.  She’s showing interest in the potty.  Which, I wouldn’t be a mother if I didn’t share that with the World Wide Web.  Because, mothers feel the need to share that kind of thing.

As though any one else in the world would care. 

But I care.

And damnit, that’s enough, world. 

Alana sings to herself. She’s not the best singer, but by golly if she doesn’t know the lyrics to every song she hears. 

And my little singer has a darling “fake cry” and a not-darling real tantrum wail.

And the best days are when she throws that wail-filled ruckus around in Target as you’re trying to check out. 

(That’s mom humor... you know... I don’t get out much these days...) 

It’s summer.

It’s gone so fast.

Sayler starts school in a few short days.

I can’t seem to squeeze my children tight enough this summer...  a vain effort to slow summer and childhood down.

I can’t quite escape my children enough, a vain effort to speed up the hard days of being a working parent and juggling life. 

It’s ironic.

It’s chaotic.

It’s the kind of love and irony only an average mom can appreciate.  

The tired moms.

The ones who have a bit of brain drain. 

The ones who are living one small pack of diapers at a time, certain any day now you’ll get around to potty training like the good moms.

The Pinterest moms.

It’s the weary moms who are celebrating lost teeth with as much enthusiasm as college graduation. 

The mom who knows the only tooth fairy in town that gives coins instead of bills. *smacks head.

It’s the moms whose kids stay up late, because you know what? Sometimes you want to just see your kids. You don’t want to usher them off to bed 2 hours after you’ve finished work. 

It’s those moms.

The ones who love being a mom even when they’re only average most days but can reheat a kick-ass bean and cheese burrito from Del Taco like they were born to microwave. 

To all the mostly-tired mamas out there clinging tight to the last days of summer...

I see you. 

Summer, 2018