Deuces

Dear Shontel..... No, I haven't forgotten about you. I only have 2 friends that live in the land of "What if...", Lizzy Lynn and sweet Shontel. Shontel and I would laugh at just about everything, but mainly our "What ifs?" It would start with a normal scenario and then we would say "What if all a'sudden...." And then we would laugh. Because we were really good at turning situations into comedy sitcom scenes by imagining would could possibly happen "all a'sudden" to create a really, REALLY funny scenario. Shontel was also wonderful because, like me, she would speak her thoughts out loud. One of my favorite moments was when we had a lengthy conversation about how uncomfortable we felt when walking through the restaurant and somehow finding ourselves stepping to the rhythm of the music from the water show. We always tried to step out of tune with the music that boomed across the restaurant, for fear that a customer woul...

7-3 again. No, I lie. It was more like 9-3. Bullwinkle's was my second job and will always remain my most favorite... I crept in at 9 or 10 every morning.   They weren't open at 7 a.m. which delighted me so. I made the bestest friends there.  To this day we remain lifelong, wonderful soul-mates. I even broke down the chola and made her learn to love me. Yes.  Rosie, I speak of you, girl. Rosie was the token chola at Bullwinkle's and she would wear baggy chola t-shirts and one of them had a HUGE Tickle-Me-Elmo plastered on the front of it. And there I waltzed in and up to her register and was likely doing cheer routines on my way in... "HI!!! MY NAME IS CAMBRIA!! C-C-C-C-A-AA-M-MM-B-B-B-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-a' A-A-A-A!!!  WHAT'S THAT SPELLLLLLLLL????" How annoying. I would always wear my hair up with a bouncy fountain and rub glitter all over my cheeks and put ribbons in my hair. It was completely bubbly and obnoxious and the Elmo chola ...

7 a.m. to 3 p.m. That was my shift. My first job, Del Taco, at age 16 saw me working that awful shift every Saturday and Sunday morning.  I even had to clean the bathrooms. But I didn't know it was awful. I loved having my job. My job paid for my cheerleading uniform and cheer camp. It paid for Spring Select and bits and baubles from places like 'Spencers' in the mall.  (Why did I love that place so much?) Del Taco financed presents for my friends and family and helped me afford summer school classes at Etiwanda High. Why, oh why, did $4.25 an hour at 7 a.m. seem worth it????? .....  Because it was. More or less. After I cleaned the bathrooms at Del Taco I washed my hands (promise) and then grated cheese over a big, noisy machine. I spread green sauce all over tortillas and sprinkled the cheese over the green sauce.  Fold. Press. Stack. I was 'slammed' when I was doing these dooties-er- I mean, duties, and someone would pull up throu...

Cat Hair, CAT HAIR!! it's EV-ER-Y-WHERE! Cat Hair on my clothing, and cat hair in MY hair! Cat hair on my nose! Cat hair on my toes! Cat Hair, CAT HAIR Didn't I just dispose... of your cat hair, CAT HAIR, that's EV-ER-Y-WHERE!? The tufts of fur on my walls, and the bits strewn on my stairs, cat hair, CAT HAIR, IT'S EV-ER-Y-WHERE!! (No. Seriously.)

This is the one about the Irish guy.  (No, not that one that I actually met in Ireland... a different Irish guy... keep up). This Irish guy I met in San Diego.  I'm not talking 8th generation Irish.  I mean, like, total Guiness and Blarney Stone Irish.  Fresh off the plane. He had been offered a job in San D. while he was once on vacation (likely a lie... he always seemed like he wasn't quite telling the whole truth.) I served him and his roommate at Mimi's one day and I thought he was dreamy.  (Okay, it was JUST the accent.... so sue me). Overall, he was an A$$whole. No. Honest. But of course this is back when I was young and I loved the occasional A$$whole.   Keeping me guessing.  A total project.  I'm gonna' make this guy love me and then he'll be sweet and romantic.... PffffffT. Right. Well we started dating (Obviously... What can I say, I had a way of getting what I wanted... most the time....).  ...

Sweet Eddie and I dated for about 3 months. He was one of the sweetest and kindest people I had ever met. I saw him one aternoon eating lunch while I was opening a restaurant.  He was so cute. I pounced. Figuratively, of course. Over the next 3 months he taught me what it meant to be loved and adored.  He loved to cook for me and gave great foot rubs, which I'm a total sucker for.  Sweet Eddie wrote sweet sentiments on cards and letters to me, which I will read through from time to time. But Eddie and I didn't have a lot in common.  We had little to talk about at times and I knew I would be leaving to open another restaurant in another state soon thereafter.  Eddie went on to marry and divorce.  And a few years ago, sweet Eddie took his own life. I was saddened and shocked and my heart broke. Sweet Eddie who had taught me not to settle for less than someone who would adore me.  Sweet Eddie who was a great big brother to his siblings...

Last night we locked the kids inside. 4 cats with no access to their kitty flap as the 4th of July holiday didn't seem like a good night to let them wander in the yards on Blackberry Drive. I woke up regretting that decision just a little. I also regretted the decision to bring Penny pooch to bed with us. 5 animals in the bedroom turned into quite a sleepless evening for the man and myself. All night I heard hisses from cats playing too rough.  Thumps and thuds from cats chasing one another up and down the stairs.... and down and up.... and up... and down... And then somewhere between 3 a.m. and 4 o'nnoyed I heard Penny whimpering. This pooch has quite the tolerance for pain (lest I need to remind you we found her half dead on a busy road...).  So her whimpering warranted attention. And in that dark fuzzy night I saw her limp toward me from the foot of the bed.  She cried along the way. I silently scolded my cats, certain they had gone all Karate Ki...

This one is about a dude named Danny. Danny, Danny who I have punched in the face so many times in my mind.  Danny and I met one afternoon at the river.  Yes, yes, code red, code red. After skirting around in his friend's boat all afternoon with my roommates, we decided to meet up again later that evening. So, technically our first date was to a foam party that night (don't judge me- it was actually a lot of fun.) And after the foam party I was a smitten kitten. He resided in the greater LBC area, and I was living in San Diego.  We lived those 2 hours apart and despite the fact we were inseparable.  He came down on the weekends, I went up on my days off....  Now our first "real" date was to the Cheesecake Factory because of his professed love for chessecake.  The wine was fabulous, the meal was scrumptious and the conversation was going well (not great, because I realize it is hard for a man to keep up with my interview-style dates).  A...