Deuces

"Your breath smells," she said, while quickly looking away in disgust.  Despite turning her head in the other direction, she could still feel the hot, heavy air hitting her cheeks.  She stretched farther away, feeling the tendons pull tightly in her neck- and yet it still lingered heavy in the air like a post-nuclear attack- She could not escape it. And in that moment, as she grimaced through the pain of the horrible smell that poured over her, she looked back at the panting dog and saw two eyes that were saying, "I Love You."  I missed you this weekend, sweet Penny. Has it already been a year since we met on that darkly lit road? It has. In that year I have come to love you, to laugh at you, to scowl under my breath at you. You are our dog, aren't you? Or perhaps we are yours.  It would certainly seem so, anyway. You are an old girl- about 11 Dr. Park says.  You are almost blind these days, old girl, and sometimes as you race for...

35 weeks yesterday. I mark that day with the first time I saw my feet swell a little.  Or, wait, only one foot looked slightly swollen and cankle-prone. That can't be right, can it? But sure enough as I put my 2 footsies side-by-side, my right foot looked like the Danny Devito of the Arnie Schwarz "Twins" pairing..... like a lone Hobbit's foot in the Shire.... like the foot that went to college and got the "Freshman 15". Ya' catch my drift? My left foot was petite and adorable, and seemed to be making a mocking gesture towards its counterpart with it's ability to nimbly stretch into a ballerina's toe point. I have about 5 weeks to go, and feeling pretty good (aside from 'occasional' attention-seeking complaints that are meant to induce compassion and good-will). We are ecstatic. At 35 weeks I watch the belly and wait for the "Mother's Line" to appear.... will I get one?  I won't be too disheartened if I d...

I won't forget the woes of pregnancy. Just in case I somehow think "It wasn't so bad", I have decided to make myself a list of the moments I'd rather not re-live. And is it because I am ungrateful? Heck no, man. There are joys of pregnancy.  I'll list those first. 1. Those first moments when you feel your baby move, tumble, fist pump and karate chop.  2. When you have an intense food craving for, say, powdered donuts, and you eat a full package of said donuts and you can feel the smile on your face stretch from ear to ear while white powder falls from your lips and you aren't even a little bit sorry about it. 3. When people finally notice you are pregnant and not just carrying extra holiday weight. 4. When moms of the world tell you exactly what you are thinking at any given time during your pregnancy. 5. When you see other pregnanct women waddle across the room and you are glad you aren't the only one who has to use the loo more ofte...

I felt overwhelmed after the baby shower. A good overwhelmed. Lots of pressies to sort through.... what room do pacifiers belong in?  The kitchen?  I have the need for things to have a place right now, because then the world will be perfect and there won't be any more wars or famine. We opened up our Pack N' Play because it seemed like a harmless endeavor to put it together.  An hour later, we were reading the instructions again over in English, and then in French- because "cord slot" just didn't seem like the correct verbiage for anything a baby belonged in. After an hour between the 2 of us, we seemed to finally have it together.  We're fairly certain our baby won't tumble out of it. And as I sorted the last of the gifts, I took a look at the sling Sarah got us.  A piece of fabric that looks like a plus-size skirt.  I tried the skirt on over my head and then over my shoulder and stuffed a teddy bear inside.  The teddy bear seemed to be suffocat...