Deuces

I looked up from my phone. I saw the flashing lights from my periphery- a motorcycle cop passing by the school. I was sitting in my car- a hot day keeping me patiently seated behind the comforts of the blasting AC while waiting for the school bell to ring so I could collect Sayler. I was reading this story:  http://4.nbcla.com/975hphw When my attentions were diverted to the funeral procession. My heart stopped for a moment. I sat gazing. Watching each vehicle in the procession pass slowly by the elementary school. To my right, my daughter safely sat in class; to my left, grieving family and friends in their vehicles. The dichotomy struck me. I became sadly numb- the sense of loss penetrating through the confines of this vessel with the welcoming breeze from air vents breezing past my face. I am alive. Sometimes these reminders strike me in ways that are hard to explain as I fumble through days full of common core kinder realities and diaper changes and my children's many milestones...

These girls...

I held you in the dark, moonlight filtering through the blinds, our heartbeats connected. I smiled widely, and in a moment of whimsy whispered "you're my favorite". And I laughed quietly as you rested your body against mine; we swayed side to side. To be clear: I don't have a favorite. But I said it in good humor, a joke shared between you and I that I would later share with your sister.  And though you couldn't understand the untrue words that I whispered I know it's never too early to share inside jokes.  I know these days are passing too quickly.  I know hugging you tight, planting kisses and more kisses across your sweet cheeks is a serotonin boost to my soul.  Baby, I love you.  I love your mullet, and the bald spot just above it where hair is starting to fill-in.  I love your easy-going disposition and your perfect smile.  I Iove the way your eyes light up when you see me.  I love watching you watching your sister; earnestly gazing... smilin...