Deuces

They're usually pretty interesting... 

The bruiser is 5! I am so in love with my girls and celebrating Sayler's 5th birthday with my homemade cake, a party, her friends and family has been a highlight of my year so far.  She got too many cool gifts including her first pair of Hello Kitty roller skates and a tricked out big girl bike- complete with a dolly seat, basket and bell. She wanted to take ballet- her first day on her birthday.   She probably feels like a pretty lucky big girl, but I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one! P.S. She still drives me insane.  *wink

I love it that I am getting so old and out of it that I needed a lengthy tutorial from Ariel on how to use snapchat. I love that now that I kind of know how to use it, I see she somehow added and labeled herself as her "best friend" on my friend list (Or did snapchat decide that for me???...) I love that an afternoon spent with Ariel could make my sometimes-heavy soul feel lighter.   I love that we usually order the same thing at lunch and can agree that while Thai food sounded so good, why can't the Thai joints ever spring for some air conditioning in their establishments?  #socalproblems Somehow we always end up at BJs these days.... I love that I can sit in any melancholy or disappointing moment in my life and think about something funny she did- or some snapchat she sent (hers are seriously the.best.ever) and manage a smile. I love that she is crazy and honest and funny to tell me I need to lose the baby weight only 2 weeks after I had my baby.  (It's surprisingly...

I have the sound of the ocean waves crashing on a shoreline surrounding my room- the white noise device transcending me 50 miles west.  I have the warmth of my daughter's face pressed against my ribcage- her shallow breath reminding me she will soon wake up to start our day. I have the enthusiasm of welcoming the weekend ahead.  Because on the weekends there's another set of hands on deck and this mother bird gets more time to eat slowly, stalk news and social media sites online and take long, leisurely walks and painfully slow jogs.  I have the rested contentment of a new mother whose baby just gave her 6 uninterrupted hours of sleep last night.  SIX! I have a phone reminding me my storage is full- because when Sayler says "Mommy, take a picture of us..." I always comply. I am happy. 

I'm comfortably squished between two girls- my almost 5 week old sleeping deeply to my left, my almost 5 year old breathing heavily through her light sleep on my right. This is a moment every mother dreams about, and wishes to relive again, so let me put this memory in the universe so my girls may one day read this and know how much I love being squished just like this. Yesterday was my first Mothers Day as a mother of 2. I do love Mothers Day.  I enjoyed knowing that although I would spend much of the day nursing Alana I would also enjoy whatever meal I wanted, whatever nagging clean-up job around the house that needed attention would get taken care of, and any moment to savor my food and snacks throughout the day would be granted.   My hands would be free of any attempts to shovel food into my mouth while simultaneously holding AJ, since Lloyd would take on the task of comforting and rocking our wee one when she wasn't herself indulging in a light snack. He would change ever...

He doesn't know it yet. But I know it and I don't want to get in trouble for tossing the Vanilla Bean Dreyer's Ice Cream, so I need to let everyone know why I threw out the pricey  treat. Frankly- it was long melted by the time I discovered it- sometime around 3 am when I crept downstairs for a snack with AJ. I was exhausted from a 3 hour stare off with my baby.  I had been doing my best to lure her into a deep slumber, though she was intent on being awake to watch me like a hawk- ensuring I found no position comfortable to be in, cautioning me to not move or dare nod off as I hunched over her, cradling her close- the only place she wanted to be between midnight and that fateful 3 am hour. And as I opened the fridge, the lights within reflected to the items placed above the fridge- a spot generally reserved for sweet things to keep from Sayler's view (though not reach, sadly, as she mastered climbing atop counters and appliances long before turning a year old.). Out of ...

"...Two sleepy people by dawn's early light,  Too much in love to say goodnight..." On Sunday Corbin visited and as he held you he said "I think she just smiled at me", to which I admonished: "did you just steal my baby's first smile?" But no- I'm sure that wasn't your first real smile.   And the day thereafter, as Lloyd held you, he remarked the same. But no- I'm sure that wasn't your first real smile I'm sure you saved it for me, as I held you on your 2 week birthday.  You were in a rare moment of nakedness as I changed you into a lovely yellow onesie- a fantastic color on you, I might add. I was talking to you, the way I do, and I too that moment to tickle your bare, beautiful, bountiful belly when, just then, I saw that perfect deliberate half smile cross your face. It came and went and my heart melted. That was it.  That was your first smile, defying all baby blogs that suggest it would likely come weeks later.  And today, ...